Want to Help Your Friend? Just. Be. Normal.

Cancer doesn’t erase someone’s personality. It doesn’t mean they stop caring about the "tea" at work, the ridiculous thing you said at the check-out line or whatever else they were into before, you know, all of... this... 

When someone you love is going through breast cancer, it can feel like every conversation has to be deep, meaningful, or medical. But that's exhausting. She doesn’t want to give another update. She doesn’t want to recap side effects. She definitely doesn’t want pity.

So don’t treat her like a patient every time you talk. Treat her like herself.

Tell her the absurdly funny thing your dog did. Gossip. Complain about your coworker. Laugh. Let her vent about her life outside of cancer, too. Be a break, not another reminder.

Some Things to Say That Have Nothing to Do With Cancer:

• "I got a parking ticket for the stupidest reason the other day."
• "I can't wait to get your input on this situation from work."
• "Trader Joe’s has the most amazing new dessert."

Keep being her friend. The rest of the world already has the patient part covered.